What category do your dreams fall into?

1. Car Troubles
2. Faulty Machinery
3. Trapped
4. Being Chased
5. Falling

If you chose being trapped, where were you trapped?

1. In a closet in the library of your elementary school
2. In a corn combine on your neighbor’s farm
3. Under the weight of the neighbor boy
4. The ice on the river above you
5. Behind the doors of the yellow school bus that wouldn’t open

 What do you dislike about your current job?

1. The pay
2. The hours
3. The people
4. The workplace
5. The work
6. All of the above

 How do you cope?

1. Dancing when the local football team loses
2. Yelling at strangers in the car
3. Going ten miles slower than the speed limit
4. Reading about extinct species
5. Putting chewing gum on walls and under seats
6. All of the above

 What is your least favorite activity?

1. Yard work
2. Meetings
3. Paying Bills
4. Cleaning the gutters
5. Overseeing children’s’ homework
6. Filling out annual reports

 What word describes your view of mankind at this point in your life?

1. Joyful
2. Enlightened
3. Robotic
4. Bankrupt
5. Whiney
6. Trapped

 What issue most concerns you?

1. Your children’s future
2. The state of the economy
3. Yard waste
4. The local football franchise
5. Hair loss
6. The disappearance of bees

 If you had it to do over again, what describes your attitude about having children?

1. I’d have more
2. I’d have exactly what I have
3. I wouldn’t have any
4. I’d have some for others
5. I’d adopt

 If you have a partner, what noun describes your current feelings for them?

1. Admiration
2. Resignation
3. Indifference
4. Hostility
5. Suspicion
6. All of the above

 At what point did your feelings change for your partner, if they did?

1. Shortly after the start
2. After the first child
3. After the second child
4. Recently
5. Before you began
6. All of the above

 For Christmas, which would you prefer to receive?

1. Scrooge Mini-Nutcracker
2. Bavarian Santa Nutcracker
3. The Bob Cratchit Nutcracker
4. An animated Musical Toy Chest playing Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

 Which of the following wouldn’t you like to receive?

1. The Horticultural Institute’s Tiered Floral Display
2. Handmade Kathe Kruse Margretchen Doll
3. A policeman’s megaphone
4. The Lorenzi Cigar Rest with Continuous Burning Wick

 Which of the following objects suggests your essence?

1. Cordless insect vacuum
2. Body fat analyzer
3. Step-on garbage pail
4. Long-reach bulb changer
5. Stop mud in its tracks slippers
6. Washable leather potholders
7. Chinese rickshaw

 How would you describe your experience taking this questionnaire?

1. Comfortable, like being reunited with the cherries in a Shirley Temple you drank at the bar as a girl
2. Excited, like seeing a strange new butterfly
3. Expectant, like when you see a kiss quivering inside your partner
4. Bored, like picking up ticket stubs in an empty movie theater
5. Angry, like seeing the plucked neck of a slaughtered hen
6. Sad, like reading an obituary of someone you once loved